Who I am. Who I was. Who I want to be.

Damn! Its been four days? I am really not good at this whole blogging thing. I think its mostly because no one really reads this and I feel ranting to myself is kind of weird or maybe I lack the commitment to a simple blog. Oh well.
No real updates on the apartment so far. Cristina has a second interview this Saturday. If all goes well she will sign the lease.
A few weeks ago, I bought a used car to replace my other car that was totaled due an accident. The accident was not my fault the woman hit my car and I spun out. The car I bought is a 1996 Buick LeSabre and I bought it for $2500.00. I did the test drive and everything sounded and felt OK to me, but hey, I am not no mechanic. In the past few days, I have been having some problems with the car. On Tuesday night, on a whim to check power steering fluid (which it turns out doesn't exist in that car), I also checked the other fluid levels. Turns out that there was zero anti-freeze/coolant in car. I, of course, put coolant in up to the fill line. The next day, the heat gauge line was really close to the red and the light was coming on. I was really confused by this, seeing as I put in coolant just the day before. I went to check the level again, and it was empty! So I added more again. The car had some trouble starting but I got it going again. Thursday morning I check the levels again and luckily there was fluid in the tank/container. This time, I checked the radiator only to discover that THAT was bone dry as well. I added water to the radiator and a small bit of coolant as well. I went to start the car and it started OK. When I went to drive, I went about block before the car stalled and would not start again. The mechanic came and picked up the car to tow it to the shop. I get a call later that the car may have possibly overheated and may now possibly need a new engine for $2000.00. Ugh. I am hoping it doesn't come to that. So maybe when I come back to blog again in another four days we shall see whats up with the car. Right now, it seems as though I am grounded for the time being.
I've been back and forth as to a final decision. Making lists of Pro's and Con's, getting other peoples opinions on the matter and doing some heavy thinking. I have come to the conclusion, that this may be the best thing for me. I think moving to California will give me a real chance to get out there and evolve as a person. If I stay here on Long Island, I feel I won't really be offered that chance or that the opportunities to grow and evolve as a person are extremely limited. So I guess I am moving to California.
So that's it for now. Plans for the weekend are to inventory what I need/want to take and start to pack and of course look for a job. 19 more days. Again, any advice is welcomed. Take care.

Day 8- Actions Do Not Always Self-Represent.

Its really tough to blog about something when there really isn't much to say without reiterating the same thing over and over again. I am actually getting some positive responses from friends here on LI regarding this move. That actually makes me feel a lot better. Also Eric (another college friend) gave me a pep talk via Facebook comment...lame I know. But you know what, I needs words of encouragement because I am constantly doubting myself and the things I do. I need to be more positive. Like my friend OB said..you have to go in to this thing with the attitude that its going to work. So here it goes. It's going to work. I still need a job and I still need to pack and I still need to get what feels like a million things in order, but its definitely going to work.
I think we might have an apartment which is awesome! Probably going to find out next weekend. Hopefully its a nice place and not located on the corner of Rape Blvd. and Gang Violence Ave. Although knowing Cristina and her having a daughter and all, I don't think she will pick a bad area to live in. No real news other than that. I still have to tell my job, that's something I don't look forward to, considering Ive only just started working there 2 weeks ago and received my first paycheck just this past week. Oh Well.
So top priority as of now, look for a job.

Day 5-Acceptance

Sorry about the lack of Day 4 post, It was my moms birthday and the Family and I went out to dinner pretty much from work. I apologize I will try to be more diligent.
Moving right along, I was hanging out with my brother 2 days ago shopping for a present for my moms birthday and was kinda in a "different" state of mind. I usually get in my head during that time and during this particular time the gravity and seriousness of the whole moving to California situation really dawned on me. I know keep reiterating the whole never seeing anyone again but its really true. That and the fact that I still have a lot to do before I go as well. As a result I reached out to Heather, after my little freak out, she again, to put it in her words, talked me down from a ledge. I am slowly begin to accept this whole thing. I see it was as a fresh start and new opportunities...I hope.
Cristina texted me and told me she found a very promising place. $1163.00 a month, located in Anaheim and it's a three bedroom. Not a bad deal. Cristina is going to go look at it tomorrow and quite possibly get an interview. This actually makes me feel a little better, because I was legitimately worried we wouldn't have a place to live. I was assured however, that Cristina was the most responsible out of the three of us so that good.
This weekend is dedicated to doing Cali things. Look for jobs, I plan to apply to at least 20, do a little more research on moving my stuff across the country, I have a mighty comfy bed which I would like to bring with me, maybe a little packing, or at the very least get some boxes, and plan the cross-country road trip itinerary.
So yea, Acceptance . Cali here I come!

Day 3-So raise a cheer to those forgotten years Back to the corner where we went our seperate ways

So Day 3 is replacing Day 2 this is due to the fact that I was at a FLOGGING MOLLY SHOW LAST NIGHT!! Man, I absolutely love that band. They have an amazing live show. If you haven't seem them, I strongly recommend it.
Anyway, so here is Day 3, I am at work. I am slowly leaking the news of the move to friends. I just told my friend Jess who's boyfriend, also a good friend of mine, offered to buy me a ticket to Bonaroo as I told him I would definitely go. I mean why wouldn't I right? There are lots of awesome bands playing. So yea, thank goodness she will be able to get rid of the ticket. I would have felt absolutely horrible if OB (Jess's b/f) would have eaten ticket. Although knowing OB, he might literally would have.
Ok, so on to the trip. The fact that this is really happening still really hasn't hit me yet even though the deadline is only 28 days away. Cristina is still looking for apartments which is good because it would really suck to get out there and have to live out of my car or pay for a hotel until we found a place. Heather gave in her notice to her boss for her one job. Good thing I only have a temp job, so I can tell them like mid-March. Jackie (my g/f) is pretty upset and taking it pretty hard. As well she should be. I am also. Coping with the fact that I am leaving behind a girl I love and have been dating for 2 years and friends who I only really reconnected with about 2 years ago is pretty tough....but hey I gotta try right?
Heather has told me I need to make an itinerary for our cross-country extravaganza. If you know me at all, you know that I am absolutely horrible with directions and navigation and here I am put in charge of a cross-country trip! I hoping to find really kichy(spelling?) stuff like the worlds largest ball of yarn. I mean hey, I was in west Virginia and saw the worlds largest tea pot, so why the hell not.
I am attempting to make this feel real. I asked my mom to steal Hammer mill boxes (those boxes that have printer paper in them) for me from her job. She is a teacher. I going to start to pack away DVDs and things because I know I won't watch them between now and Cali. I am attempting to get myself excited to go but the excitement just isn't there. I don't know if my heart is in it or what. However, I am sure by the time its comes nearer, I will be stoked. I am however, not stoked to do a pseudo solo drive cross country. Oh well..tomorrow Day 4. If anyone who is following has any ideas for going cross-country like routes or whatever, suggestions are completely welcome.

Day 1-What the eff am I thinking???

OK, so if you know me at all, you know I am not an impulsive person. I don't usually throw caution to the wind and do something that is crazy and potentially life changing. Well apparently I dont know myself either, because I have decided to move to Southern California. You heard correctly, Southern California. This all began a couple of weeks ago when I was informed that my friend Cristina from college had applied for a job in California and if she got it, was going to move. Mind you, she lives/lived in Tuscon Arizona. Long story short, she got the job and is now residing in California with a couple of friends. Now, here is where I come in. My other friend, Heather, also a friend from college texted me one day to say that she was thinking of moving out to Cali with Cristina. I guess they had a whole conversation about how cool it would be to live together out in Cali. Lo and behold I get the text that says I should move out there. Now, I had lived in California for a grand total of 3 years and 6 months previously. Ever since I had left, I always wanted to go back. Now this opportunity is being handed to me and I feel its a sign and that I should go. I am beginning this blog as a way of coping with leaving behind friends and loved ones. and maybe if I write down how I feel and write down the things I need to do, I will actually do them. So in the famous words of Horace Greely "Go West Young Man!"